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Family’sDayOut:5WaystoSupport
GoodBehaviorinPublicPlaces
SUSIE ALMANEIH
A good place to start is at home. Dwelling on poor behavior discourages
everyone involved, so positive feedback several times a day is more
effective all around! This approach shows that you’re on the same team,
and working together has better results, setting the stage to better carry
out some recommended steps in guiding your child’s behavior while out
in public.
Consider the following elements:
1. Pre-game
Before heading to that
restaurant or store, take a
minute to discuss good choices
and bad choices. Be specific
and relay with confidence that
you expect your kids, for
example, to stay next to your
cart and to use “inside voices.”
Teach them and prep them
every time, and if you’re lucky,
that’s all the help they’ll need.
2.Understand
what’sgoingon
The part of the brain that
helps control impulses and
manage emotion is not fully
developed in children.
So, when they enter Target
and are bombarded with
lights and loud noises, of
course they have more
trouble managing their
behavior than at home.
Understanding this gives
you more patience and
more realistic expectations
for your children, and the
more patient you are, the
better able you are to
handle their behaviors.
3. Preparation
is everything
You can decrease a
child’s social anxiety in
public settings by being
completely prepared.
Be sure to bring snacks
and juice boxes, offer
opportunities to
explore a bit when in an
unfamiliar setting, and
minimize the amount of
time the child must
spend in a crowded or
confined area. Also,
bring a favorite toy for
a means of familiarity
and comfort.
4. Game plan
execution
Don’t be caught off guard and let a
“quick trip” to the grocery store ruin
your day. Establish a routine system
for rewarding behavior in public.
A good example is taking raffle tickets
along on your excursion. Children
earn a ticket each time you observe
good behavior.
If rewarded liberally, children love it
and they spend the whole trip working
to be good, and you escape without a
crisis. There are lots of variations on
this system that will work; the point is
that you’re using positive
reinforcement again, rather than
spending the entire trip nagging them
for bad behavior.
Kids learn ways to get what
they want, and some learn that
their parents get immobilized
in public when they act up,
which usually results in having
a big fit until parents give in, in
order to prevent utter public
humiliation. Unfortunately,
when that happens, the child is
rewarded for having a fit in
public, and it is more likely to
happen again. Kids need to
know the rules, and that they
apply anywhere, so don’t be
afraid to enforce consequences,
even while in public.
5.Alwaysremember
who’sboss
A little preparation, a lot
of positive reinforcement,
and a solid plan can and
will make a huge
difference in encouraging
your child’s good behavior
in public. This will lead to
outings becoming more of
the norm, and less anxiety-
inducing for the child, and
you as well. There’s a good
chance you’ll never have to
be that parent receiving a
glare from the restaurant
guest at the neighboring
table after all.

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Susie Almaneih: 5 Ways to Support Good Behavior in Public Places

  • 2. A good place to start is at home. Dwelling on poor behavior discourages everyone involved, so positive feedback several times a day is more effective all around! This approach shows that you’re on the same team, and working together has better results, setting the stage to better carry out some recommended steps in guiding your child’s behavior while out in public. Consider the following elements:
  • 3. 1. Pre-game Before heading to that restaurant or store, take a minute to discuss good choices and bad choices. Be specific and relay with confidence that you expect your kids, for example, to stay next to your cart and to use “inside voices.” Teach them and prep them every time, and if you’re lucky, that’s all the help they’ll need.
  • 4. 2.Understand what’sgoingon The part of the brain that helps control impulses and manage emotion is not fully developed in children. So, when they enter Target and are bombarded with lights and loud noises, of course they have more trouble managing their behavior than at home. Understanding this gives you more patience and more realistic expectations for your children, and the more patient you are, the better able you are to handle their behaviors.
  • 5. 3. Preparation is everything You can decrease a child’s social anxiety in public settings by being completely prepared. Be sure to bring snacks and juice boxes, offer opportunities to explore a bit when in an unfamiliar setting, and minimize the amount of time the child must spend in a crowded or confined area. Also, bring a favorite toy for a means of familiarity and comfort.
  • 6. 4. Game plan execution Don’t be caught off guard and let a “quick trip” to the grocery store ruin your day. Establish a routine system for rewarding behavior in public. A good example is taking raffle tickets along on your excursion. Children earn a ticket each time you observe good behavior. If rewarded liberally, children love it and they spend the whole trip working to be good, and you escape without a crisis. There are lots of variations on this system that will work; the point is that you’re using positive reinforcement again, rather than spending the entire trip nagging them for bad behavior.
  • 7. Kids learn ways to get what they want, and some learn that their parents get immobilized in public when they act up, which usually results in having a big fit until parents give in, in order to prevent utter public humiliation. Unfortunately, when that happens, the child is rewarded for having a fit in public, and it is more likely to happen again. Kids need to know the rules, and that they apply anywhere, so don’t be afraid to enforce consequences, even while in public. 5.Alwaysremember who’sboss
  • 8. A little preparation, a lot of positive reinforcement, and a solid plan can and will make a huge difference in encouraging your child’s good behavior in public. This will lead to outings becoming more of the norm, and less anxiety- inducing for the child, and you as well. There’s a good chance you’ll never have to be that parent receiving a glare from the restaurant guest at the neighboring table after all.