A condensed set of slides from Class 1 in my course on The Art of Self-Coaching, Spring 2015 at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
Class 1: April 3, 2015

2. Class 1
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3. Beginnings
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4. Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
Where are we
Learning community
High-level concepts
Logistics
going?

5. How will we
Very brief lectures
Two activities
Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
get there?

6. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
Working
agreements

7. I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

8. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

9. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

10. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
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11. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
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12. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
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13. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Respect confidentiality
Minimize distractions
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

14. Who am I?
Coaching/self-coaching
An exercise
Coaching tools
Partnerships
Logistics
Today’s agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

15. Who am I?
Instructor
Leadership Labs & Fellows
Touchy Feely
Class of 2000
Executive coach & HBR contributor
www.edbatista.com

16. Why coaching
matters to me…
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients

17. Why self-coaching
does, too
1%
6 to 24 months
Help my students & clients help themselves

18. What’s coaching?
Not advising or mentoring
Not diagnostic
Coachee owns the agenda
Coachee has the answers
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]

19. Guiding our own growth & development
Not a solitary experience, but self-directed
Coaching partners are essential
You’ll have 2 in this course
& self-coaching?
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]

20. Positive
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psychology

21. Positive
psychology
Study of what makes life most worth living
Equally focused on strengths & weaknesses
Robust research to date

22. Risk of social comparison
Sense of agency  We blame ourselves
Avoid triumph & despair
Get curious instead
The downside

23. Joyful learning
Photo by Harry [link]

24. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Arousal improves performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much stress diminishes learning

25. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

26. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

27. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

28. Joyful learning
Judy Willis
Teachers limit stress levels  Students learn more

29. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Critical to avoid the tipping point

30. Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy

31. CONTEXTLearning,
Awareness,
& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,
Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions

32. Safety, trust,
intimacy
Built through relationships
A critical skill for self-coaching
You’ll practice in here with partners

33. Coaching team
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34. Coaching tools
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35. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

36. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way?

37. Modes of inquiry
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

38. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
Begin with receptivity
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

39. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

40. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Substitute the coach’s narrative
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

41. Modes of inquiry
1. Pure inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

42. Ask better
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questions

43. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

44. Ask better
No leading questions
That’s advocacy, not coaching
questions

45. Ask better
One more tip…
Ask once & stop
questions

46. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

47. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

48. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ listening
How they feel > what you hear
Make them feel heard

49. Listening skills
Focused attention > time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact
No multi-tasking
Eliminate distractions

50. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown*
Shame & empathy
Edgar Schein
Shame in helping relationships

51. Shame &
empathy
Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]

52. Shame &
Shame = We are flawed & unworthy of love
Empathy = The antidote to shame
empathy

53. Shame &
Shame = Unravels relationships & connections
Empathy = Creates closeness & meaning
empathy

54. Shame &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
empathy

55. Shame &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “My problem’s worse”
2. “Look on the bright side”
3. “Here’s some advice…”
empathy

56. Shame &
Instead…
1. Respect their view & avoid judgment
2. Look for, sense & validate feelings
3. Express understanding
empathy

57. Traps for the
coach
Photo by Casey Fleser [link]

58. Traps for the
coach
Giving advice prematurely
Overpowering resistance
Taking on the problem
Stereotyping
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

59. Photo by Juhan Sonin [link]
Partners

60. Course logistics
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Everything’s on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings = PDFs or websites
Assignments = Left menu & bottom of Syllabus

61. Course logistics
Contact me (also in Syllabus)
Email, phone, text are all fine
Generally 8am-6pm

62. Grading
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63. Grading
Attendance 30%
Weekly assignments 40%
Final paper 30%
Pass/fail allowed
3.45 mean GPA

64. Attendance
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65. Attendance
It matters
A lot
Unexcused absences = grade impact
More than 1 may = U

66. Written work
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67. Written work
8 weekly assignments, 1000 word limit
Final paper, 5000 word limit
Deadline is always Wednesday @ 6pm

68. Written work
The content is up to you
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts or requirements

69. Written work
5 grading criteria:
Timely
Personal
Conceptual
Well-crafted

70. 1:1 Meetings
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71. 1:1 Meetings
Entirely optional, no impact on grade
Wednesdays & Fridays
Default = Meet in front of Bass & go for a walk

72. For next time…
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73. Change
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