Dr. Robi Ludwig explains varying attachment types and how they can compliment one another in romantic relationships.

1. If you love me, then why can’t you
show me???
Dr. Robi Ludwig

2. Falling in love is always a bit of a mystery.
Psychoanalyst Theodore Reik said most people fall in love
for selfish reasons. We tend to choose people who appear
to give us the very qualities we think we’re lacking.
Others believe relationships that help us to grow, feel the
most rewarding.
When we find lovers who are competent in areas which are
novel to us, it can feel the most amazing and alluring of all.

3. So what does this mean when it comes to giving and
receiving love?
Is it true opposites do indeed attract?
The Attachment science field is trying to answer some of
these very perplexing questions.
Attachment theory tries to explain the way adults become
attached to each other when they love.

4. There are three major types of attachment styles: secure,
anxious and avoidant.
1) A Secure attachment style is the most common. If you’re
attachment style is secure, it means you’re comfortable with
intimacy.
2) Anxious attachment people crave intimacy and often
worry that their partners don’t want to be as close to them
as they’d like.
3) The avoidant attachment style equates intimacy with a
loss of independence.

5. As romantic tendencies would have it, it’s not at all
uncommon for different attachment styles to find each
other and form a love connection. For example, emotionally
giving personality types can be very attracted to emotionally
reserved types, and of course the opposite is true as well. As
you can imagine, these conflicting attachment styles can
create a bit of tension, when it comes to feeling loved in the
right way.
So what is this, some kind of cruel cosmic joke? Not
necessarily. The reserved partner who is attracted to the
emotional woman is saying to himself, “Here is someone
who can complete me.” And likewise the emotional woman
is saying, “Here’s a man who will balance out my
emotionalism.”

6. Dr. Levine, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Columbia
University, has some uplifting news for complimentary
attachment style lovers.
It’s very possible for your attachment style to change. Telling
a partner what you need from them, in as detailed a way as
possible, is a great place to start. Showing love doesn't need
to be perfect or even 50/50; it just has to be enough in the
right direction to help your partner know they are loved by
you.
And Here’s the interesting paradox, couples who learn to
accept each other, not only feel better about their
relationship, but end up having a better time accepting
themselves, too.

7. Bottom line, our romantic relationships are designed to help
us become our best self. And what better strategy is there
then pairing up with someone who can teach you how to
develop some of your more dormant qualities? Ya see,
finding your opposite, isn’t such a cruel love joke after all. At
least it doesn’t have to be.
Find out more about Dr. Robi Ludwig on her website at:
robiludwig.com
You can also keep up with her on her twitter account
@drrobiludwig