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How to Have Difficult
Conversations With Confidence
Denise Jacobs 

MTP Digital
13 July 2020
Body Level One
Body Level Two
Body Level Three
Body Level Four
Body Level Five
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
#mtpcon #confidentconvos
@denisejacobs
@denisejacobsdotcom
GET YOUR SOCIAL ON
@deniserjacobs
Conversations
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Product Management takes a LOT
https://www.mindtheproduct.com/2011/10/what-exactly-is-a-product-manager/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Through conversations
Photo: Denise Jacobs
Body Level One
Body Level Two
Body Level Three
Body Level Four
Body Level Five
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
VUCA
volatility
uncertainty
complexity
ambiguity
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
FUD =
Fear
Uncertainty
Doubt
https://www.flickr.com/photos/tom_lin/3193080175/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Our inner critics
Photo source: Flickr
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Look at mind
management and tools
for #confidentconvos
Thought Management
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Let’s work on
managing
this
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tiarescott/3211540197/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Cognitive Biases
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cognitive_bias_codex_en.svg
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Negativity Bias
https://www.flickr.com/photos/jeremyiah/3042291231/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
“The only reason we don't open our hearts and
minds to other people is that they trigger
confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough
or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that
we look clearly and compassionately at
ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about
looking into someone else's eyes.”
– Pema Chödrön
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Self-compassion
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
S.H.I.F.T.
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
Stay present:
Take several deep breaths to get yourself grounded and back into your body.
Have compassion:
Understand that you’re feeling scared and commit to giving yourself comforting messages.
Invoke mindfulness:
Realize that you are not your thoughts and that you have the power to observe them without reacting to them.
Focus attention:
Choose to place your attention on alternative thoughts.
Trust your ability to problem-solve:
Know that the creative part of you exists and it will come out when you relax.
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Mindfulness
http://www.flickr.com/photos/guiniveretoo/1573049301/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Pay attention
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
http://www.flickr.com/photos/copperfeesh/147493122/
Impostor Syndrome
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Impostor
Syndrome
https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-person-red-white-476/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Remember the Impostor Syndrome Paradox
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
You will only experience impostor
syndrome when you are
competent and skilled.
(re-read this as many times as necessary.)
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Women are 

highly susceptible
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Why don’t we
see ourselves
clearly?
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
But consider this:
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
And then, this:
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
OH.
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
This was me:
https://media2.giphy.com/media/l0ExplZscjforkFxe/giphy.gif
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Refute Your Thoughts
The Conversations
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Feedback
Team Alignment
With Executives
Saying No
https://www.flickr.com/photos/boklm/486676439/
Four Conversations:
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Cognitive Distortion:

Emotional Reasoning
http://www.flickr.com/photos/janrito/2224039964/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Objectives and Goals
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bhenak/2664680892/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Are we…
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Alignment_(PSF).svg
Feedback
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jakecaptive/47065720/@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Task-Related
Personal
http://www.flickr.com/photos/boklm/486676439/
Two Kinds of
Feedback :
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Effective
feedback
mindset tools
https://www.flickr.com/photos/newamericanleadersproject/6959863273/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
S.H.I.F.T.
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
Stay present:
Take several deep breaths to get yourself grounded and back into your body.
Have compassion:
Understand that you’re feeling scared and commit to giving yourself comforting messages.
Invoke mindfulness:
Realize that you are not your thoughts and that you have the power to observe them without reacting to them.
Focus attention:
Choose to place your attention on alternative thoughts.
Trust your ability to problem-solve:
Know that the creative part of you exists and it will come out when you relax.
Giving Feedback
creative dose:@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Cognitive
Distortion:
Fortune-Telling
http://i.vimeocdn.com/video/507593067_1280x720.jpg
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Focus on the role
description
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Avoid the “Blame Game”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicksherman/539896911/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Make notes
Exercise:
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Invite to co-create
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Give Kudos!
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
Receiving Feedback
https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/3703145222/@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Fear of being
https://www.flickr.com/photos/jdlasica/12825451433/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Reframe criticism
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Curious and Open
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonmelsa/3000222387/
Team Alignment
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Is everyone aligned?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dahlstroms/3774973833/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Is everyone aligned?
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
“Plussing”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/66568868@N00/6032481145/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Moving beyond
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
“How might we…?”
E X E R C I S E :
With Executives
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Mission du jour
Photo: Denise Jacobs
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Too many initiatives
http://www.flickr.com/photos/generated/2084287794/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Need focus
https://www.flickr.com/photos/editor/283989913
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Cognitive Distortion:

All or Nothing Thinking
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Think on a spectrum
P R A C T I C E :
http://static.ipaustralia.com.au/store3/10/78/1078354.1.high.jpg
Saying NO
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gideon/6582069/@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Objectives and Goals
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bhenak/2664680892/
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Power Pose
C R E AT I V E D O S E :
You’ve Got This!
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Speak your truth
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Today’s tea wisdom
Photos: Denise Jacobs
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
What tools do
YOU use?
Photo: Denise Jacobs
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Tons more tools
Go to
InnerCriticBook.com
Body Level One
Body Level Two
Body Level Three
Body Level Four
Body Level Five
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
Join my mailing list!
DeniseJacobs.com/
subscribe
Body Level One
Body Level Two
Body Level Three
Body Level Four
Body Level Five
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
My courses on LinkedIn Learning
Go to
linkedin-learning.pxf.io/DeniseJacobs
Title Text
• Body Level One
• Body Level Two
• Body Level Three
• Body Level Four
• Body Level Five
@denisejacobs / #confidentconvos | #mtpcon
DeniseJacobs.com
denise@denisejacobs.com
deniserjacobs
denisejacobs
denisejacobs
denisejacobsdotcom

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