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Improve your Conversation
(Start communication in a different way)
An inspiration from management Article
             By: Brian Tracy
             By: Brian Tracy
One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to 
             pause before replying. 
             pause before replying
A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very 
      classy thing to do in a conversation. 
      classy thing to do in a conversation
The Benefits of Pausing
First benefit,
  You avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other 
person is just catching his or her breath before continuing. 
person is just catching his or her breath before continuing
Second benefit,
                     Second benefit
 You show the other person that you are giving careful 
consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with 
   your own comments at the earliest opportunity. 
Third benefit, 
                        Third benefit
  After pausing you will actually hear the other person 
 better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of 
  your mind and you will understand what he or she is 
saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself 
              as a brilliant conversationalist. 
              as a brilliant conversationalist
Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is 
          to question for clarification. 
          to question for clarification.
Never assume that you understand what the person 
is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, quot;How do you 
                   mean, exactly?”
This is the most powerful question I've ever learned 
            for controlling a conversation. 
                          g
It is almost impossible not to answer. 
When you ask, quot;How do you mean?quot; the other 
 person cannot stop himself or herself from 
        answering more extensively. 
                                 l
You can then follow up with other open‐ended 
questions and keep the conversation rolling along. 
questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
Paraphrase the Speaker's Words
 After you've nodded and smiled, you can then say, 
quot;Let me see if I've got this right. What you're saying 
quot;L           if I'       hi i h Wh          '      i
                         is . . .“ 
Demonstrate Attentiveness
               Demonstrate Attentiveness
 By paraphrasing the speaker's words, you demonstrate in 
     no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying 
attention and making every effort to understand his or her 
      i     d    ki          ff         d      d hi    h
                   thoughts or feelings. 
Demonstrate Attentiveness
 And the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective 
listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating.
listening other people will begin to find you fascinating
Demonstrate Attentiveness
They will want to be around you. They will feel 
     relaxed and happy in your presence. 
       l d dh
Listening Builds Trust
 The reason why listening is such a powerful tool in 
developing the art and skill of conversation is because 
developing the art and skill of conversation is because
                listening builds trust. 
Listening Builds Trust
The more you listen to another person, the more he 
      or she trusts you and believes in you. 
Listening Builds Trust
                  Listening Builds Trust
   Listening also builds self‐esteem. When you listen 
attentively to another person, his or her self‐esteem will 
                    naturally increase. 
Listening Develops Discipline
  Finally, listening builds self‐discipline in the listener.
Because your mind can process words at 500‐600 words 
per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per 
per minute and we can only talk at about 150 words per
   minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention 
           focused on another persons? words. 
Listening Develops Discipline
If you do not practice self‐discipline in conversation, your 
If     d     t      ti    lf di i li i            ti
    mind will wander in a hundred different directions. 

The more you work at paying close attention to what the 
other person is saying, the more self‐disciplined you will 
                        become. 
                        become
Listening Develops Discipline
In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually 
develop your own character and your own personality. 
d l                h     t      d                   lit
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these 
ideas into action. 
ideas into action

First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any 
conversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how 
         ti     di      i    Y      ill b      d th
powerful this technique really is. 

Second, continually ask, quot;How do you mean?quot; in response to 
anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more 
time to listen well.
time to listen well.
Thank you, 
         Thank you

              @g
   amirsaiftaz@gmail.com

www.amirsaiftaz.blogspot.com

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