Some business jargon is useful, especially when it’s the simplest way to convey a complicated concept or provides a useful shortcut for those in a certain line of work. But other times it’s rooted in something offensive (“drinking the Kool-Aid”), it’s a bad or embarrassing metaphor, or it makes you sound like you’re trying too hard to be cool. Today we’re going to expose some of the most ridiculous corporate lingo out there and offera few simple tips to help you avoid sounding like a mindless corporate drone…

1. How to Bypass Sucky Business Jargon
5 lame phrases to avoid at work—and the
alternatives to try instead

2. Introduction
Some business jargon is useful, especially when it’s the simplest way to convey a
complicated concept or provides a useful shortcut for those in a certain line of work. But
other times it’s rooted in something offensive (“drinking the Kool-Aid”), it’s a bad or
embarrassing metaphor, or it makes you sound like you’re trying too hard to be cool.
Today we’re going to expose some of the most ridiculous corporate lingo out there and
offera few simple tips to help you avoid sounding like a mindless corporate drone…

3. Sucky Business Jargon #1: “On Your Plate”
Example: “Hey, Mike. What’s on your plate?”

4. Sucky Business Jargon #1: “On Your Plate”
Why it sucks: It is no simpler to say than the
alternative expression below, and you might
actually get “mashed potatoes” as a
response.

5. Sucky Business Jargon #1: “On Your Plate”
Alternative expression: “What are you
working on this week?”

6. Sucky Business Jargon #1: “On Your Plate”
Better solution: Avoid this question entirely
by knowing what your teammates are
working on without having to interrupt
them. This might mean investing in better
tracking tools.

7. Sucky Business Jargon #2: “Open the
Kimono”
Example: “It’s time for the lead gen team
to open the kimono.”

8. Sucky Business Jargon #2: “Open the Kimono”
Why it sucks: It’s creepy. Co-workers who have
more visual minds might actually be tempted to
picture what’s under said kimono, which can’t
be good for anyone.

9. Sucky Business Jargon #2: “Open the
Kimono”
Alternative expressions: “Let’s take a
closer look at what’s going on with
_______.”

10. Sucky Business Jargon #2: “Open the Kimono”
Better solution: Because this abominable
phrase implies that information and/or
communications aren’t being shared, the best
way to kill this sucky jargon is to tweak your
processes and tools to make inter-team
relations more transparent.

11. Sucky Business Jargon #3: “Move the
Needle”
Example: “Hiring one more person in
Sales will really help us move the needle.”

12. Sucky Business Jargon #3: “Move the
Needle”
Why it sucks: It’s pretentious, somewhat
ambiguous (how much exactly will the
needle move?), not much of a time saver,
and just maybe the most overused piece of
jargon on this list.

13. Sucky Business Jargon #3: “Move the
Needle”
Alternative expression: “Make a difference”

14. Sucky Business Jargon #3: “Move the
Needle”
Better solution: Avoid generic, unhelpful
terms like “move the needle” and, instead,
use data and metrics that decision-makers
can weigh objectively against other
options.

15. Sucky Business Jargon #4: “Pow Wow”
Example: “Lisa, can you gather your team for a
2:00 pow wow in my office?”

16. Sucky Business Jargon #4: “Pow Wow”
Why it sucks: The pow wow has a
specific, spiritual role in Native American
culture and has nothing to do with
discussing sales targets for Q2. Aside
from being culturally insensitive, saying
‘pow wow’ doesn’t save any time or
provide any additional meaning beyond
that already provided by the word
‘meeting’.

17. Sucky Business Jargon #4: “Pow Wow”
Alternative expression: “Meeting”

18. Sucky Business Jargon #4: “Pow Wow”
Better solution: Be aware of all the terms
that have been commandeered from
other cultures into popular culture—or
just office culture—that could be
inadvertently hurtful or insensitive to
others.

19. Sucky Business Jargon #5: “Throw It Over
the Wall”
Example: “Looks good to me. Go ahead
and throw it over the wall.”

20. Sucky Business Jargon #5: “Throw It Over
the Wall”
Why it sucks: It’s vague, and it could mean
difference things in different organizations.
Worst of all, it highlights how crappy and
haphazard the team’s handoffs to other
teams really are.

21. Sucky Business Jargon #5: “Throw It Over the
Wall”
Alternative expressions: “Send the email.” “Share
the document with the client.”

22. Sucky Business Jargon #5: “Throw It Over the
Wall”
Better solution: “The Wall” implies that you
don’t know who’s on the other side and they
don’t know you’re about to lob something
over. Start focusing on increasing transparency
and building handoff processes with other
teams.

23. Sounds less lame at work today
Clearly, these five sucky business terms do
not comprise the only ways to sound like an
idiot at the office. There are many, many
more.
At any rate, stop boiling the ocean and
instead proactively leverage a cloud-based
solution that you can onboard to disrupt the
status quo, really move the needle, and
empower the use of best practices—if you
can get buy-in, that is.
Now, go forth and stop sounding like a
moron.