Looking for love? We've been there! With the popularity of online dating growing each day, we knew there had to be some sort of way to master the dating scene. Enter: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating. We will help you build the right profile, flirt with matches, and make sure your first date is a success! And find out what to do if it seems like a [cat]fishy situation. Download and print me to get your date on!
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The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating
2. Get Your Date On!
Online dating is complicated.
From creating an accurate and attractive profile, to finding matches
that interest you, to going on dates and trying to figure out how they
feel, it’s easy to become overwhelmed with the whole process.
I’m here to change the way you find dates online! If you want to
Find the Right Matches
Wow People withYour Flirting Skills and
TurnYour Online Dates into Relationships
Then this little guide is the perfect first step for you to take in the
right direction.
Let’s Get Started!
xoxo,Vanessa
4. #1 Choose a Strategic Username
When it comes to picking usernames, we found two options that
work the best on online dating websites:
• One that matches what your preferred partner is
looking for
• One that starts at the beginning of the alphabet
5. @SexyScientist77
Research has found that straight men tend to zero in on female
usernames that suggest physical attractiveness, like:
• “sexy…” “blondie…” and “cute…”
Straight women tend to be attracted to usernames that sound
successful, such as:
• “cultured…” and “driven…”
6. @AdventurousAdam
There tends to be a preference for usernames whose first letter
is in the beginning of the alphabet.
The reason for this is that dating sites tend to list users in
alphabetical order - so if your username is towards the end,
fewer people flip through all those pages to find your profile!
Research also suggests that we tend to [subconsciously]
associate names in the beginning of the alphabet with success.
7. #2 Use the Word “Love”
If you’re looking for love, then say so!
Research from the dating website PlentyofFish found that profitles that used
the word “love” (or similar words like “heart,” “romantic” and “relationship”)
were the most successful at engaging in committed relationships!
8. #3 Smile and Tilt
What makes an effective dating profile?
It turns out, the most attractive profile
pictures for women showed them smiling
genuinely at the camera, with their head
slightly tilted.
For men - a smile is great, but the ladies do
love the “smolder” look, too.
10. Don’t be afraid to polarize!
Polarizers are people whose
appearances and/or personalities are
so unconventional that people look
at their profile and immediately
decide that they’re highly attracted to
them, or completely uninterested.
11. Examples of polarizers include:
• Individuals with lots of tattoos, piercings, wildly
colored hair or a similarly unique appearance
• People who are passionate about niche
hobbies
• Any other characteristic that is unconventional
enough to inspire love/hate reactions
*Polarizers receive about 70% more messages than
would be expected for level of attractiveness
12. Step #4 It’s All About Asking the Right Questions
OkCupid analyzed data from tens of thousands of messages and
discovered some surprising questions that are remarkably
accurate at revealing what you want to know about dates…but
may not want to ask.
13. Curious if your date has the same
political views, but won’t want to bring up
politics?
Ask them if they prefer their lives to be
simple or complex.
People who prefer complexity are 2:1
more likely to be liberal, while people
who prefer their lives to be simple are
2:1 more likely to be conservative.
14. Want to know the likelihood of your
match being willing to have sex on
the first date?
Ask them if they like the taste of
beer.
OkCupid’s study found that people
who love beer are 60% more likely
to have a positive response to that
question.
15. Wondering if your match is
religious?
Ask them if grammar errors
offend them.
Non-religious people are
bothered by grammar mistakes at
a rate higher than 2:1 compared
to religious people.
16. Want even more tips? Check out:
Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People
Do you wish you could decode people? Do you want a
formula for charisma? Do you want to know exactly what
to say to your boss, your date or your networking
partner? You need to know how people work.
In Captivate you’ll learn a wealth of valuable shortcuts,
systems and behavior hacks for taking charge of your
interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation.
These aren’t the people skills you learned in school.
17. Step #5 How to Get Deep
Psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron dedicated their lives to
studying how people form close bonds.
After countless experiments, they discovered that vulnerability is
the key to closeness.
From their studies, they came up with a list of 36 questions that
lead to the development of deep, close bonds. I’ve shared my
favorites with you…
18. • What would constitute a perfect day for you?
*Learn what makes them happy and remember their response for future
date ideas.
• What do you value most in a friendship?
*See if you have the qualities they are looking for.
• Share an embarrassing moment in your life.
*Use this to have a laugh and bond over silly moments
19. • What is your most treasured memory?
*Their answer will reveal a lot about what matters most to them.
• Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time?
Why haven’t you done it?
*Find out what their big goals are and the obstacles that hold
them back.This gives you a solid indication of where they’re
headed in life.
20. Action Step!
Memorize, print out or screenshot these questions so you have
them handy when talking to your dates.
21. Step #6 How to Flirt Via Messaging
I’m sure you’re just as guilty as I am when it comes to obsessively
editing texts when you start talking to someone new.
In fact, we’re not alone: OkCupid used anonymized data to study
messages send on their site, and they found that the average user
writes 3 characters for every 1 character they send.
Fret not, friends - here are some tips to make flirting via
messaging a little bit easier!
22. Messaging Tip #1
If you’re interested, reply quickly.
A lot of women think that they create
anticipation by making partners wait for
their messages, but not replying within
24 hours sends the message that you’re
not interested.
23. Messaging Tip #2
Use emojis to express emotions
They are a great tool to use if you’re
struggling to find the words to attach
moods to your messages. Just don’t
overdo it - you don’t want to use a
bunch in every message and risk
looking like a teenager.
24. Messaging Tip #3
Don’t go overboard with
abbreviations.
If you use a lot of slang and
abbreviations like 2G2B2 and AMTB
when you text your friends, don’t use
them in online dating. Chances are
you’re going to confuse people.
G2G
TTYL
ILY LMAO
SOML
ROFLOMG
WTF
OIC
BBIAM
QT
25. Messaging Tip #4
Always reciprocate
This goes for any conversation, but it’s especially
important in messaging since you can’t use
nonverbal cues to get people to keep talking.
If they ask you a question to tell you something
about themselves, respond by asking them the
same question or sharing a similar story - it’s a
great way to keep the conversation going and
find similarities.
26. Messaging Tip #5
Avoid heavy topics.
This should go without saying, but sometimes
people are so eager to get to know people when
online dating that they make the mistake anyway.
When you’re unable to read someone’s
nonverbal cues, you’ll miss important signs and
may accidentally upset the other person.Tread
cautiously!
27. Messaging Tip #6
Don’t communicate solely by messaging.
Messaging is an important and inevitable part of online
dating, and admit it, it’s comfortable. But in all honesty, the
less you message the better.
Whenever you and your dates are available, arrange to
talk on the phone, video chat or summon up the courage
to meet in person!
Having the opportunity to communicate in real time and
read their nonverbal messages are essential for building
connections with people.
29. Lie Detection in 100 Minutes
Do you know when someone is lying to you?
We like to think we are great at spotting lies—but on
average we can only detect deception with about 54%
accuracy.That’s barely better than chance!
I believe learning how to spot deception is a life skill.
We should all know how to have more honest interactions.
We should all be able to protect ourselves from liars.We
should all be able to decode hidden emotions.
That is what our new course is all about.
Want to Dig a Little Deeper?
30. You Did It!
Congratulations!
You have learned how to create and optimize your
profile, wow your dates and take those dates to
the next level of being in a relationship.
You’re an online dating master. I’m so proud of you
- and you should be proud of yourself, too.
Keep being the best, and keep me updated on how
this guide helps you - Tweet me! @Vvanedwards
Xoxo,Vanessa